The Beginning!

Salve. AD 14

A new era is about to begin. Any day now the Senate will recognise my son Tiberius as the new Emperor and the Claudian dynasty can begin. However, this is not the happy occasion I had often dreamed it would be. It remains tainted with the memory of my dear husband whom I miss dearly. He was my partner in life and while he was nearly 76, I can not say that I was prepared for him to leave.

My husband, Augustus

When I think back to when I first met Augustus I can honestly say that I had no idea that we would have the life together that we had, the fact that we got married at all at the time is surprise enough for me. It was 38 BC, I was married to Tiberius Claudius Nero and had been since 43 BC. We had already had Tiberius, and I was pregnant with my second and last child Drusus when I was introduced to Augustus.  It was strange meeting Augustus, during the battle between Marc Antony and Augustus in 42 BC Tiberius Claudius Nero had sided with Antony which made our meeting in 39 BC awkward.  Augustus would later tell me that he had fallen in love with me the moment he saw me, that he knew he had to make me his wife as soon as possible.  While I am sure that story is somewhat true I wasn't completely fooled.  By marrying me, Augustus could align himself with the Claudian family.  At the time Augustus was trying to gather support to become the next emperor of Rome.  By having such a strong connection to the Claudians he was aligning himself with one of the pater families, making his claim to the principate much stronger.  That he happened to love me was just an added bonus.  This isn't to say that I was forced into the marriage, no, I knew that his side was the winning side.  Tiberius Claudius Nero knew this as well and decided that he would do well to put himself in favour with the future Princeps by agreeing to divorce me.  While it was not love at first sight for me, I did like him a lot and I knew I could grow to love him.

52 years of marriage. When Augustus died there was no real time for mourning. I sent a message to Tiberius immediately, telling him to return to Rome with haste. I had doubted my son. For years he had resigned himself to Rhodes, abandoned Rome and his place as heir. He had no will and for this I will always blame his hussy of a wife Julia. Never have I known such a disgusting woman. She may have been Augustus' daughter but she had none of his traits. Julia was always a temperamental child, her tantrums were unbefitting of an imperial daughter. However her marriage to Tiberius had been necessary. After her husband Marcus Vispanius Agrippa died in 12 BC Tiberius and Drusus' position rose in respect to succession.  Augustus proposed that Julia and Tiberius get married as it would make his plans for succession easier.  Although I despised Julia I knew by Tiberius marrying her he would become the best candidate as Augustus' heir and so I backed Augustus decision.  Tiberius could not have reacted more sullenly to Augustus' request, unless he had been Julia who was just as unenthusiastic.  Tiberius agreed, albeit extremely reluctantly and in 11 BC they were married. He was now certain as heir but then of course he had to let it all fall apart. My son, my dear son, for all that laid ahead of him managed to somehow destroy it. You see, in order to marry Julia he had to divorce his beloved first wife Vispania Agrippina, who was the daughter of Marcus Vispania Agrippa. It was ridiculous, his marriage to Julia would cement his place as next in line, he would be carrying on the Claudian name. I thought that surely he would recognise that as far more important. Instead he decided to be a heartbroken wreck, mourning the loss of his apparently perfect wife. He was far to emotional and had this stupid notion of marriage being about love.  He failed to see the brilliant political opportunities his new marriage had given him, or if he did, he just did not care.  It brought me no end of stress to see him acting in such a shamelessly juvenile way.  Although I can absolutely acknowledge that a marriage to Julia would never exactly be easy, but I'm sure his reaction didn't exactly strengthen their relationship.

I do blame Julia a lot for what happened next. She hurt him deeply. I am sure that she built up such resentment in him that made him want to forget about having any part in the principate. She brought him so much shame, she flaunted her adulterous ways to show how little she cared about him. Combined with his brother's death in 9 BC he officially gave up, on the principate, on his family and exiled himself in Rhodes in 6 BC.  Augustus was outraged, it was blatant disrespect. I shed so many tears, my only remaining son had tossed our future away! It took a long time for Augustus to forgive Tiberius and he refused to let him  return to Rome. Thankfully though in 2 AD he was allowed to return, it took a lot of convincing to get Augustus to do that. Tiberius wasn't the same though, but when Augustus' heir of the time Gaius Caesar died, Tiberius was one of the few remaining options.

Julia the Elder

Julia hurt her father too. She was a conniving character, she thought she was so subtle with her plans but she was finally exposed as the treacherous leech she was when her plot to overthrow her father and rid Tiberius was exposed. Augustus remained so sure that she had not been as involved as they said but I knew better. Thank god Augustus recognised that her behaviour needed to be reprimanded. When he exiled her to the island Pandateria in 2BC I finally breathed a sigh of relief. I feel no shame in saying that I was pleased to know she would be living in her own personal hell; no drinking, no men and out of sight. Not to mention she could no longer torment Tiberius. She is stuck in Rheggium now of course and who knows what is to become of her now that Augustus is dead. Tiberius refuses to acknowledge her existence but I have no doubt that he has something in mind for her. Personally, I hope she is sent straight to Styx.

Tiberius

I have other concerns at the moment. Tiberius plans to address the Senate about the death of Agrippa Postumus. Postumus was a loathsome young man and I have no problem admitting here that his death was no accident. Postumus had the blood of Julia running through his veins, it was uncanny. He was a brute, a violent lump of a man, an embarrassment, just like his mother. To think that Augustus ever considered Postumus as a suitable heir still makes me want to gag.  It was such an insult to have Julia's son placed before my own son, no matter how withdrawn he may have been!  Thankfully, Augustus was shocked into coming to his senses when it became clear that the brute was conspiring against him.  I was finally able to convince my husband that Postumus, just like his mother, needed to be isolated.  So in 9 AD Augustus had him banished to Planasia. It seemed that Tiberius was finally ensured as the next heir. Augustus and Postumus never reconciled, he was not even included in Augustus' will. Many seem to be shocked when they heard that news. Augustus' own grandson, not even mentioned in his will.  Apparently there is a rumour circulating that Augustus made some kind of secret trip to Planasia in 13 AD that resulted in him reconciling with Postumus.  It is completely absurd, gossip and rumours I'm sure.  No doubt it was spread by someone from the Postumus sympathy camp.  

 Yes, I know I said Postumus was all kinds of violent brute but he had supporters.  Or should I say, Tiberius had enemies?  Either way I had noticed that support for Postumus was developing. It was support from like minded thugs and combined with Postumus' unfounded arrogance I felt he was becoming a dangerous liability. Everyone knew that Tiberius was the next in line and of course these rebellious types had taken it upon themselves to have him pushed aside should Augustus die and have Postumus take the throne. This was completely unacceptable and whether or not he would have been successful and whether or not he had enough support to realistically claim power of the principate did not matter, he was a liability. It would have been reckless of me to allow him to have any kind of opportunity to put this into action, or allow him to be alive to inspire someone else to put it in to action.  If Postumus came in to power it would be the end of Tiberius and I. So I did what any smart mother of a future princeps would do, I organised to have Agrippa Postumus assassinated when Augustus died, before the public even knew about his death. I entrusted Sallustius Crispus to see that this would be done. He remains one my most trusted confidantes, an upstanding man whom I hold a great deal of respect for.  He also had the resources to pull this off, he informed me that the guards holding Postumus under security had promised kill him as soon as they were informed of Augustus' death.

Sallustius Crispus

When Augustus died I waited impatiently to receive confirmation of Postumus' death. Soon enough I was informed that he had been strangled by his guards. Augustus and I had a marriage of respect and I was often his confidante, but I still had my secrets, and this, the arranagement of Agrippa Postumus downfall was one of them. I'm sure he suspected that Postumus would not survive long after his death but if he knew anything of my plans he never told me. Augustus was a great leader and husband, but in his old age he seemed to find it harder to punish family with anything harsher than exile, especially those connected to Julia. Julia was exiled, for good reason, but he could never bring himself to have her executed and despite all that she did he remained remorseful about her situation until his dying day. I did not want to put him in the same position with his grand-son, the knowledge that his death would see the death of his paternal grand-son would probably have caused him so much stress that he would have died years sooner.  I have no doubt that he would have seen the sense of having Postumus killed, it was one way to ensure Rome would not be plagued by a civil war once he died but it still would have caused him pain. So the planned assassination of Agrippa Postumus was known only to myself and Sallustius Crispus.  Tiberius was unaware of the plan and for him Postumus' death was quite unexpected.

 I still need to inform him of what happened but finding any time to have a private conversation with him is proving difficult.  Hence my problem. With Tiberius to address the Senate tomorrow I have no doubt that there will be demands for an investigation into Postumus' death and I am worried that Tiberius, in an effort to please the Senate will agree to such an investigation.  This is dangerous, not only could the truth of Postumus' death be exposed but there are so many secrets that need to stay hidden, for them to be exposed to the Senate could mean ruin for the principate and support for a return to the Republic might grow. If only I could talk to Tiberius, but he has been refusing to see me in private.  Crispus has promised me he will talk to Tiberius as soon as possible, alas that won't be until after Tiberius meets with the Senate.   Hopefully no damage will be done.

I have already mentioned my concern for Tiberius. He is so withdrawn, for a long time I have had no idea as to what goes on in that mind of his, nobody does.  Augustus often complained to me that he did not understand Tiberius, and I had to agree with him.  If only Tiberius would talk to someone, it would put everyone at ease to know what Tiberius thinks and feels.  I believe the death of his brother, Nero Drusus still haunts him.  I will always be immensely proud of Drusus. His military work in Germania and the high regard his troops felt for him is a testament to him.  Augustus loved him too, he made little effort in hiding his favour for Drusus who was far less withdrawn than Tiberius.  Of course, Tiberius had a successful military career but his attitude made Augustus doubt his ability.  You would think this kind of favouritism would have caused tension between the Tiberius and Drusus but no, they were incredibly close, any favouritism just caused Tiberius to resent Augustus.  I think Drusus was the only person that Tiberius was able to confide in and although it's been 23 years, Drusus' absence remains one of Tiberius' greatest personal pains.  His death caused Tiberius to retreat further into his own mind.  Drusus' death effected both of us, we were both overcome by such grief but instead of it bringing us together he began to retreat even further away from me.  This, combined with the disaster that was Julia has left him a bitter and sad man, the kind of man who gives up on everything and retires to Rhodes.

Drusus

I can't help but be disappointed in this attitude of his.  He is in his 50's, is about to be become one of the most powerful men in the world and yet, he hardly seems to want it.  Drusus would have been a far better candidate, I know that but I really believe that if Tiberius would just embrace this opportunity he could do  much peace to the Roman people.  I am concerned that he will have some kind of breakdown and that Capri will happen all over again.  I will be keeping a watchful eye on him, there is no way I will allow him to give up and abandon the Roman people again.  I know that this will require me to be vigilant in making sure he does right by the people and I am confident that after living through and watching my husband rule the Roman Empire that I have enough knowledge to push Tiberius into making the right decisions, whether he wants me to or not.

Livia Drusilla - my official coin